Well it’s been four months since I wrote in this blog. About the same amount of time that I have not been able to pray to God. Funny, I was on a 24/7 talking basis with Jesus during all my trials. Then poof, I hit a wall.
I began to search myself to see if I was angry at him for allowing me to go through all that I did. Yet, I did not find that at all. If anything, I am so thankful to Him for bringing me through and my son as well! I praise His name for all that He has done. So what was the deal?
I don’t know what to tell you other than it was a dry dead place. The day that I heard that my friend Char’s cancer had returned, well that’s the day I started to speak to Him again. As I ponder all of this I can only think that He wanted me to remember what it felt like not to have the daily chat with Him.
Suddenly on that day I seemed to see people in a new light. One in which is very surreal. I feel as if I am observing them and see into their lonely lost souls. Does that make any sense to anyone? Gosh, I said what does that mean? Suddenly I feel compelled to stop and just say hello. My busy life running here and there has suddenly taken on a new appeal and a new purpose. There are so many lost people out there. As our world continues to spin faster and faster and more out of control I am feeling a need to just be an encouragement with something as simple as a smile or a hello.
There have been numerous days that complete strangers smile at me and say hello. I began to wonder if I had a tattoo on my forehead that says “Friend”. Last Friday as I was walking in the park I felt physically propelled to go over and say hello to an elderly gentleman who was sipping coffee watching the ducks. As I approached him and said hello, how are you today, he turned and wouldn’t you know it, he had a Boston Red Sox shirt on. Leave it to God to give me the thing to talk about when I was asking myself if I was losing my mind! As we got chatting he told me that he graduated from Boston College and he had even heard of the junior college that I attended there that has been closed for years.
Wow, as I drove away I thought what an insight. What a praise report. That our God taught me something through my “dry spell”. How it truly feels to be alone. Truly alone – like down in the very heart and soul of your being.
I probably have not explained myself well. Hopefully I did enough so that some of you that read this (in fact it will probably only happen if you bump into this site again). Many of you have gone on your way giving up that I would ever post again for which I do not blame you.
Physically I am doing wonderful. I work out six days a week and try to eat as healthy as I can. I continue to see my ongologist, Dr. Schwartz every 4 to 6 weeks for bloodwork. A new scan should be coming up shortly. He is very pleased with my progress but I know that he is still being cautious for which I am grateful. My urologist did a scope about 4 weeks ago and he said that I looked so good that he didn’t want to see me for 8 months! He said about 20% get cancer back in their bladders. I’m happy to report that I am currently in the 80%.
Aaron is doing wonderful. You’d never know he had a kidney removed. He got engaged to Suzanne Craddock on July 31 and they are currently planning their wedding for the Spring of 09.
We have so much to be thankful for. We continue to ask you to pray for us when thoughts of us pass through your mind as perhaps they do from time to time. God is good and I continue to be amazed at His love and faithfulness even when I am not.
Blessings and love,
Candy
